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How do you get into heaven - funny

Great little anecdote by a person working in a Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven How to get to Heaven in Scotland - a school teacher's report I was testing my Sunday school children to see if they understood the concept of going to heaven I asked them "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven" "No" the children answered in unison "If I cle

British stupidity - funny

Funny mistakes from British game shows and radio programs UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE BBC2 Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers' Contestant: Homosexuals Paxman:No They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you BEG, BORROW OR STEAL BBC2 Jamie Theakston:Where do you think Cambridge University is Contestant:Geography isn't my strong point Theakston: There's a clue in the title Contestant: Leicester BBC NORF

XKCD - amazing movie narrative timelines

XKCD is a wonderful online comic which is creative, entertaining, and challenging In this case he has made a timeline of the characters in selected movies and how they interact I never knew such a system existed before I feel inspired to make one about Castaway, with Tom Hanks, that would be an easy one to create : This is a small version of the image click on the link [url=http://xkcdcom/657/]here[/url] to see the full image, go to the site, and click again on the image [img]http://

Star Wars - is really a story about one man bumbling through the universe

Forget the story of Darth Vader, the heroic actions of a couple of robots, or the the power of light over darkness Star Wars is all about how one man bumbles through the universe making galactic type mistakes that are only healed after he dies The Star Wars series is actually a cautionary tale, a warning to all It's a story that shows the long term consequences, the 'blow back', the repercussions of acting headstrong and without insight It's the story of a single man who's brave and

How comedians deal with hecklers - usually not very well

Surprisingly enough, for an occupation concerned with humor, comedians don't take being heckled very well Here are some of the more inventive and famous replies to hecklers There does seem to be an underlying insecurity in comedians when performing Comedian Larry the Cable Guy once responded to a female heckler from the audience, who shouted "I love you Larry!" by saying "I told you to wait in the truck" The comedian then blew the woman a kiss This is an example of positive

Kayne West on Patrick Swayze

Kayne West really IS a douche!

How to get out of shopping with your girlfriend/partner - handy for all males to know

You're a male, you hate shopping, particularly clothes shopping with your partner Here are some handy ways you can get out of the tedium of shopping

The multiple translation program fun

Take a phrase in English, then translate it into Japanese, then translate the translation back into English, then translate the translation of the translation back in Japanese and you get the idea What do you get Some fun phrases http://translationpartycom/tp/#2094374 A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush = Bird in hand, President Bush Ritsu Moyo THis one makes another phrase : Rock and roll will never die = Rock is not dead How much wood would a wo

The secret life of animals - funny video

Funny video of talking animals and their experiences Well worth watching Walk On The Wild Side is a brand new comedy series that seeks to provide a long overdue forum for the views and opinions of the animal kingdom It's a world of hip hop-loving badgers, dieting pandas and a marmot called Alan They and a whole bunch of other characters come together in this new show which combines comedy with jaw-dropping natural history footage It's time to take a Walk On The Wild Side [fl

Funny things said in court

An oldie but goodie, funny things said in court ATTORNEY: She had three children, right WITNESS: Yes ATTORNEY: How many were boys WITNESS: None ATTORNEY: Were there any girls WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney Can I get a new attorney Q: What is your date of birth A: July fifteenth Q: What year A: Every year Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all A: Yes Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory A: I forget

How many church people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Presbyterians: The Session will determine the exact number, and through the Reformed sacrament of light bulb changing, God will seal us in our light bulb changing service, renew our identity as the light bulb people of God, and will mark us for further light bulb changing service that will manifest the grace of God to the world Pentecostals: Ten One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness The Evangelical Free Church of America: Depends We believe in liberty

The Stig - Some say he naturally faces magnetic north and that all his legs are hydraulic.

Top Gear, the greatest car show on earth, always introduces their mysterious but tame driver with a "Some say" intro line Some say that when he saw Star Wars, he thought it was a documentary Some say his pubes are fibre opticand his pee is pure nitrogen Some say he has an oil pump instead of a heart, and that he can see in ultraviolet Some say he never blinks and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves Some say he's wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upsid

Cyclist intelligence test

Here's a test to see if you can think clearly on your day away from battling the elements Scroll down a line at a time so you don't reveal the answers before you have had a chance to figure them out :guy[b]TEST FOR INTELLIGENT CYCLISTS [/b]:guy Below are four 4 questions and a bonus question You have to answer them instantly You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK Let's find out just how clever you really are First Question: You are partici

The history of Scientology

The wacko religion gets a makeover in this funny PDF that is really well done! Download [url=http://homepagesihugconz/~g-b-dix/Scientology-nonsencepdf]here[/url] Its a 4 meg file though let me know if the link fails

Who saved his friend from the dog?

Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a vicious Rottweiler The dog had already locked his jaws on the Boy's' legs Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline, "Brave
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