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Its hard to be a cactus

Imagine the rejections when all you want is a hug

Funny 911 calls - video

Listen to these strange and funny 911 calls Talk about getting all the cranks [flash=450x370]http://wwwliveleakcom/e/9a3_1208431710[/flash]

Political Cows from around the world

Which political cows do you belong to Funny [b]An American Democrat[/b] You have two cows Your neighbor has none You feel guilty for being successful You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax The people you voted for then take tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor You feel righteous and Barbara Streisand sings for you [b]An American Republican[/b] You have two cows Your neighbor has no

Meat, they're made of meat.

Imagine if you will we are not alone in the universe "They're made out of meat" "Meat" "Meat They're made out of meat" "Meat" "There's no doubt about it We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through They're completely meat" "That's impossible What about the radio signals The messages to the stars" "They use the radio waves to talk,

Bet Michael Jackson is kicking himself now - joke

Just when you thought you had chosen the right ethnicity

Monkeys - a lesson for life

Start with a cage containing five monkeys Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to

Smile....

Save the whales Collect the whole set On the other hand, you have different fingers 427 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe Honk if you love peace and quiet Remember, half the people you know are below average He who laughs last thinks slowest Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the c

Drinking beer turns men into women

Stunning new research on the effects of drinking have conclusively shown that drinking beer turns men into women Read the text on the article below [img]http://stuffucanusecom/thumbnail-pictures/beer-turns-men-to-womenjpg[/img]

French Jokes - Funny Quotations About France

[quote]Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion óNorman Schwartzkopf [/quote] As funny as these jokes about the French might be, the truth is that the French were right There were no WMD in Iraq, and Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11 [quote]France has neither winter nor summer nor morals Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country France has usually been governed by prostitutes óMark Twain[/quote][quote]I would rather have a German division in

How to make an Easter Bunny

Ever wonder how they make those chocolate covered bunnies Wonder no longer, the truth about Easter Bunnies is finally revealed http://stuffucanusecom/shockwave/easter_bunnyhtm

Financial crisis hits big business

The financial crisis is forcing companies to make tough staffing decisions Andre may have to go

Chuck and the dead horse

Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100 The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news The horse died" Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back" The farmer said, "Can't do that I went and spent it already" Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse" The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him" Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle

The man with the funny laugh ....

Three guys get pulled up from the audience and interviewed on a comedy show Everything runs happily until Doug begins to laugh His laugh is just amazing : [flash=480x385]http://wwwyoutubecom/v/Z4Y4keqTV6w&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0[/flash]

The strange funeral procession

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull dog on a leash Behind him were 200 men walking single file The man couldn't stand the curiosity He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad

You know you are getting old when ...

A letter written to the editor of a Perth newspaper on how you know when you are getting old [quote] With 2009 upon us I have now learned the true meaning of old age Last week as I lay basking on my verandah, my wife, who had been engaged in some domestic maintenance, came to me and said "Darling what I need is a long screw" Without thought I went out to my shed to look for one[/quote] I totally agree with the quip, one of the signs of old age is having a well equipped shed
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