Sigh with the All Blacks out of the Rugby World Cup at the embarrassing quarter finals here come the All Black jokes
I like the one with the pope in it
Wayne Barnes is the unfortunate referee who has coped the scapegoating over losing the match and blamed for the All Blacks losing its all bollocks of course, but allows people blame something for the loss instead of facing up to defeat like adults
New Zealanders can make good winners but horrible losers
Anyway here are the jo
you know youre a hillbilly when your dad sells your mom as a birthday present
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
The next day the kids came back and 1 by 1 began to tell their stories
"Johnny, do you have a story to share"
"Yes ma'am My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen "
Well tell us about Aunt Karen"
"Ok" said Johnny, "Aunt Karen was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife
She drank the
[quote]White House pranksters wrapped Rove's Jaguar in plastic wrap on the private driveway next to the West Wing
Rove's car is easily recognizable because of its "I love Barack Obama" bumper sticker and the twin stuffed-animal eagles on the trunk Oh, and there's a stuffed-animal elephant on the hood[/quote]
For the rec
A R A B rap video by a Middle Eastern comedian I really liked it, its well done :
This old page has become popular for some reason, its worth reading through :
[b]An American Democrat[/b]
You have two cows
Your neighbor has none
You feel guilty for being successful
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax
The people you voted for then take tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor
You feel righteous and Barbara Streisand sings for you
[b]An American Republic
A lady walks into a high class jewellery shop She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it
As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind farted
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her Cool as a cucumber
The Wedding Dress
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for"
The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil"
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for br
I thought this was great
You never feed me
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face
That will sure show you
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt
The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow
In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning
I leap into the window
I meant to do that
Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag
What is so fu
A New Zealander is travelling around the Greek Islands
He walks into a bar and orders a beer from the New Zealand barmaid
As she takes his order, she notices his accent and over the course of the evening they get chatting
At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his hotel
Although she is attracted to him she says no He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him
As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees
The next night
A big earthquake - 81 on the Richter scale has hit Pakistan
The country is totally ruined and the government does not know where to start with providing help to rebuild
The rest of the world is in shock The United States is sending troops to help Saudi Arabia is sending oil Latin American countries are sending supplies
New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops
The rest of the European community except France is sending money
The Asian continents are sendin
A plane is on its way from London to Melbourne when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down
The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and
A little girl and her mother were out and about The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age You'll learn this as you get older"
The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about You'll learn this, too, as you grow up"
The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy,
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten"
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says,
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag He sits down and places the bag on the counter
Where on earth did you get that" says the bartender
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag
This time he pulls out a lamp He hands it to the bartender and says"Here Rub it"
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him
"I will grant you one wish Just one wish each person is allowed only one!" said
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