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Idiots at large...

IDIOT AT SEARS: WE had to have the garage door repaired The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower" I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 He said, "NO, it's not" Four is larger than two We haven't used Sears repair since ____________________

The true geek

I think this sums up a true geek, I wonder if she did code The site with the advert is [url=http://wwwsceneorg/showforumphpforum=6&topic=76206]here[/url] from 2 years ago, so don't bother applying I saw the pic on http://fulgericacom/en/p=102

Lessons from Charm School

Two delicate flowers of French womanhood were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion in New Orleans The first woman said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me" The second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice" The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive" Again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that

The Pirates encyclopedia

Found in the best pirate ships

The golfing nun

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration "What troubles you, Sister" asks the Mother Superior "I thought this was the day you spent with your family" "It was," sighed the Sister "And I went to play golf with my brother We try to play golf as often as we can You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ" "I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed "So I t

A blondes car breaks down ...

A blonde's car gets a flat tyre on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up It wasn't very long before a police car arri

Australian comedians make fun of Hillary

Some aussie comedian tries to get a job as Hillary Clintons personal aid and shows the public semi maked photos of himself at a Hillary rally Sort of like an antipodean Borat [flash=425x350]http://wwwyoutubecom/v/-BOMOVV2pf0[/flash]

At last a version of titanic i can sit and whatch

[flash=425x350]http://wwwyoutubecom/v/Nby3iSBafCo[/flash] http://wwwyoutubecom/watchv=Nby3iSBafCo

Jokes for Lexophiles (lovers of words)

1 A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired 2 A will is a dead giveaway 3 Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana 4 A backward poet writes inverse 5 In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes 6 A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion 7 If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed 8 With her marriage she got a new name and a dress 9 Show me a piano falling down a mine sha

Questions about Canada for the 2010 Olympics

Now that Vancouver has been chosen to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, people from around the world are posting some hilarious questions on an International Tourism Website The questions are supposed to be true whereas the answers are obviously not Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants growUK A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street USA A: Depends on how much yo

The dead goat....

OK this joke is terrible but still On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto the pasture, she saw that the family's only goat was lying dead in the field The situation looked hopeless to her-how could she possibly continue to sexually satisfy her husband and three sons now that the goat was dead In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself

OZ News: Vegemite wars!

[flash=425x350]http://wwwyoutubecom/watch/v/UW7wlyeajSY[/flash] I found this clip about something australians eat called "Vegemite" I have heard this name before and I think I have seen it somewhere too but what the hell is it And why is considered as "distillied aussie essence" Is it like Jam or marmalede or something like that Why are the Aussies upset about insulting Kraft's Vegemite Anyway here is the original that started it all! [flash=425x350]http://wwwyoutub

Windaz Too Thowsand and Sivin for Australians just released!

The Aussie version of Windows 2007 entitled Windaz Too Thowsand and Sivin has hit the shops Don't be forced to use confusing American software apps! Stay away from Windows Vista and its confusing new system Stay with the tried and true blue oldie cobber We have just finished making a version of the best selling program for our antipodean cousins Cop some of these choice new features with more grunt than a yabbie pump! http://stuffucanusecom/aussie_windows/aussie_windowshtm

Preaching to a bear - and other religious jokes

Heres a bunch of religious jokes, enjoy : A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the same Canadian University and they would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all that hard, and a real challenge would be to preach to a bear One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment They would all go out into the woods

Build your own Web 2 Startup

In the new exonomy its easy to start a new startup Just use this easy start-up-otron alogorithm Just inesert hte words below into the revelent fields Its a [market] site that used [hyped tech] and [hyped tech] to do [service] in a [architecture]
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