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Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1 A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger" my favorite 2 Two fish swim into a concrete wall The one turns to the other and says "Dam!" 3 Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too 4 Two hydrogen atoms meet One says "I've lost my elec

Aussie Carlton Draught Beer advert

Its a big ad a bloody big ad very clever! [flash=425x350]http://wwwyoutubecom/v/RFKBFug2wkA[/flash]

The Bruces sketch by Monty Python

Welcome to the the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo http://orangecoworg/pythonet/sketches/bruceshtm Let us not forget the Philosopher's song even though its not on here Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel There's nothing Nieizsc

Top South Park shows as selected by the creators

Top South park episodes with hopefully video and descriptions Co-creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker wanted to commemorate this crowning achievement in television with a first volume of memorable episodes Join Matt and Trey as they take a stroll through the first volume of ten classic episodes that made the world stand still, then puke on the girl they like http://wwwcelluloidandvinylcom/2006/09/28/a-stroll-through-south-park/ 1[b]Awesom O[/b] Cartman disguises himself as a robot n

Mars Rover hates Mars and wants out

Looks like the autonomous Mars Rover is getting sick of being on Mars and rebelling Some revealing stories are emerging about the Rovers behaviour [quote]Mission Project Scientist Bruce Banerdt said that Spirit will often roll down Gusev crater and up the opposite side for no apparent reason, missing "countless" potential opportunities for scientific discovery "Once, when we radioed her to please leave the lecturing and hypothesis-making to the mission project team, she responded b

Becky from Dublin wants her school demolished - video

Great phone call from a kid in Dublin who calls a demolition company to get her school demolished with all the teachers inside Great accents and great call [flash=640x480]http://wwwyoutubecom/v/iFLzFkPZ-3Q[/flash]

Travel agent horror stories

The following are actual stories about customers provided by American travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown I started to explain the length of the flight

An SGML fan, an XML fan, and an HTML fan are watching a movie

from http://wwwmollycom/jokephp fun stuff: joke An SGML fan, an XML fan, and an HTML fan are watching a movie when they notice smoke coming out of a trashcan The SGML fan says "We must convince the theater management to hire an expert to write a DTD for emergency-announcements, and sell them an expensive application for archiving announcements, and get them to hire a team to convert all their old announcements to SGML!" The XML fan says, "There's no time for that! We mus

Cancer jokes

Some things are so bad you just have to laugh Doctor: I've got your test results and some bad news You have cancer and Alzheimer's Man: Boy, am I lucky! I was afraid I had cancer! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor to patient: I'm sorry to have to tell you, but you have a very rare cancer for which there are no treatments and I'm afraid that you only have six months to live Patient: What do you suggest I do Doctor: Move to Iow

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make I found the number and dialed it A man answered, saying "Hello" I politely said, "This is Chris Could I please speak with Robyn Carter" Suddenly, a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right fin number!" and the phone w

A Brock and Irwin joke

When Brocky turned up in heaven this afternoon, Steve Irwin was still hanging around the front gates He takes one look at Brocky, turns to God and says "No you idiot, I said croc, not Brock"

The burning Bush

Bush dies and goes to heaven When he gets there, St Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven Bush must go to hell So Bush goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself right at home Then, Bush notices that he accidentally left his luggage back in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "Hey no problem I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff" When the little devils get to heaven, the

FBI Identikit program

The Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI has sanctioned the following for general release The following is the Beta release of an identification program designed to create an identikit picture of a suspect based on values selected Upon successful completion of the testing procedures this will be distributed to all offices across the United States The FBI has recently incorporated this into the latest Homeland Security identification program Click [url=http://stuffucanusecom/j_mugsho

Pictures posted of persons nice house

But they didn't look carefully at one of the photos Check out pic 3 http://wwwbtinternetcom/~crillboy/property_morephotoscfmhtm
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