Some of these are really good
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry Then things get worse
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
Lottery: A tax on people
I recently picked a new primary healthcare physician, and after two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well for my age" A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him: "Do you think I'll live to be 80" In response, he asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine"
"Oh no," I replied "I'm not doing either"
Then he asked: "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbequed ribs"
I said, "no, my other Doctor said that all re
01 Faking an orgasm isn't even an option
03 Condoms were designed with you in mind !
04 Your friends never trap you with "Remember 20 years ago when"
05 Porn movies have one target audience, you
06 If something doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and it's ok
07 You hate cats more than you hate talking about your feelings
08 You never miss a chance to score because you are not in the mood
09 There is always a game somewhere in the world
10 If another guy sh
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning The 87 year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath The 80 year-old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy
"Well", said the 87 year-old "It's quite simple really, I eat Italian bread every day It keeps your energy level high and gives you great stamina with the ladies as well"
The 80 year-old was mightily impressed by
Here's a funny flash video
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch The woman's husband also comes home
The little boy says, "Dark in here"
The man says, "Yes, it is"
Boy - "I have a football"
Man - "That's nice"
Boy - "Want to buy it"
Man - "No, thanks"
Very well done NSA song about tapping the phones
[quote]Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in todays world you need a domain name It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following legitimate companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration:
Man this is shocking, America is being corrupted by the products sold on its shelves
Much more on this abomination on the link!
Ding Dongs are called Ding Dongs so that the makers of Hostess brand products can have a perverted laugh
Because of this snack cake's name, children are forced to utter filthy and unholy phrases such as, "I like
Just what i always suspected
At last there is a purpose for the space station!
Guantanamo Bay Prisoners To Be Shipped Out on Discovery
David Hicks will be amongst the first seven Guantanamo Bay inmates to be sent to the International Space Station on board the Space Shuttle Discovery at the weekend
The US Supreme Court has ruled that military commissions at Guantanamo Bay contravene the Geneva Convention, but the Geneva Convention's jurisdiction is confined to planet earth
The Supreme Court decision found
After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today"
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something shou
I thought this was funny :
Before I started to train an Ironman, I bought a training plan; I read books on hydration and fuel replacement, I listened to endless hours of advice from elite and pro triathletes This information did help me finish, but it did not teach me how to correctly brag about being an Ironman
My friends and I came up with a six phase program which will aid you in bragging about your Ironman Use this plan from the moment you register until well after the rac
Here's a humorous Armageddon flowchart
Halifax — A mock ballad, citing the mechanical troubles of Canada's aging Sea King helicopters, is making the rounds of the military
The song, imitating the tune and lyrics of the 1970s hit Seasons in the Sun, talks of the fears of crew members who must fly the often-unreliable Sea Kings
"Goodbye papa, please pray for me,/ my helicopter's crashing in the sea,"
| 1 .. 29 30 31 32 33 .. 41