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You know your an internet junkie when ....

I just caught myself thinking "LOL" instead of laughing at a post!!!! Are you an addict when you have to check the board every morning with your breakfast I sometimes find myself out in the middle of nowhere on my bike with an urge to log in and check my email : Real world bad news is overshadowed by the happiness at having new posters on the board :

Zombism Outbreak and a New Biological Weapon

[quote]There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent wa

Bomb bomb Iran song

This is excellent!!!! http://wwwdevilduckycom/media/44421/ Starts off slow but after a while really gets good

Scottish Jokes

[b]Scottish/English Car Crash[/b] An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on At this point, the Scotsman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of sherry He hands th

Irishman Loses His Ear

After an accident on a building site when an irishman had his ear chopped off, the doctor tells him not to worry, it could be sewn back on easily The Irishman says to the doctor "You can't do that that, its not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it"

Bagpipe jokes

Q How do you get two bagpipers to play in perfect tune ------------------------------------------------------ Q What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion A No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe ------------------------------------------------------ Q How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded A You don't have to be very good to get people's attention ----------------------------------------------------- Q What's the definition of a Scots g

The bacon tree

Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food No other humans had been seen for days, and then the pioneers saw an old Norwegian man sitting beneath a tree Their leader stepped down from his wagon and said" "Hello stranger,is there some place ahead where we can get food" "Vell, I tink so," the old man said, "but I wouldn't go up dat hill und down de udder side Somevun tole me you'd run into a big bacon tree" "A bacon tree" asked the wagon train le

Sexy Blonde


I Like Your Thinking - Joke

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left" She calls on little Johnny "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot" The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking" Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream The second is gobbling down t

Wikipedia have april fools jokes

http://enwikipediaorg/wiki/April_1,_2006 This looks good, a growing list of April fools jokes for 2006 Vastcom states: "Vastcom has launched a new category, Credit Card search Our "deep" crawler now recognizes and extracts credit card numbers accidentally posted all across the web, and enables you to shop with them What's the business model, indeed!" Google added some visitors to Area51! http://wwwjarnotcom/mt/archives/2006/04/they_come_in_pephp

Dumb hacker attacks his own computer

http://wwwtotalillusionsnet/forum/indexphpshowtopic=328 This is really quite funny If you don't know IP: 127001 is the IP of your own machine So when the hacker tried to attack the person he was actually attacking his own machine but didn't realise it

Indians and winter

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the heck the weather was Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared But also

The first bird flu joke

A lion, a gorilla and a chicken are talking in a pub As often happens in pubs, they began boasting The lion said, "I'm the King of the Jungle because when I roar everyone runs out of the jungle" The gorilla said, "That's nothing I'm the King of the Jungle because when I beat my chest everyone runs out of the jungle screaming" Both the lion and the gorilla turned to face the chicken who says, "Roaring, beating, pah! That's nothing When I sneeze ten million people shit themselves!"

Here is a photo of me and my computer

Sometimes its hard booting it up in the morning
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