or get some lines for others :
:dbguy :dbguy :dbguy
Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing about iraq, he finishes by saying "and three Brazilian soldiers were killed"
Bush staggers and cries out, OH NO! That's terrible!! He sits down and holds his head in hands All the staff are really impressed by this show of emotion about an ally
Then Bush looks up and says " How many is a brazillion, anyway"
A woman gives birth to a baby, and a short while afterwards, the doctor comes to her room looking very serious and says, "I have to tell you something about your baby"
The woman sits bolt upright in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor Tell me what's wrong"
The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your child is a little bit different, it is a hermaphrodite"
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite what's that"
The doctor says, "Well,
Its never the wrong time to go fishing!
These are great :
New secretary second day on the job answers telephone as is told in official tones: "This is the phone company We are testing a new circuit wiring scheme in your offices Please keep everyone off the phones for the next 10 minutes We will be verifying the correct wiring of your system by passing hot steam through the wires Instruct your employees to place their phones on the floor, or, better yet, wrap them in towels
This guy made a program that connects two males who both think they are talking to a female and records their conversation
You can read the logs of the people as they both think they are talking to a female :
Very cute :
A profile is put up with a girl's name and picture, and put in "Skype me" mode Within minutes some seedy guy will invariably try calling/chatting, and there's a little program I made running the whole time which will partner up pe
I think these are hysterical
A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper Let's have a word with him Hi John Say, what's with that group ahead of us They're rather slow, aren't they"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's
How to clean a toilet
1 Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl
2 Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom
3 In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids You may need to stand on the lid
4 The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this
5 Flush the toilet three or four times This provid
I thought this was funny in these serious times
Diddy was left floored after he tried to crowd surf at a concert and was dropped by his fans
The rapper, formerly known as P Diddy, was performing at top Ibiza nightclub Space when the embarrassing mishap took place
According to revellers, the hip-hop star got so excited during the performance he leapt into the crowd, but instead of c
Yes indeed, the theory of gravity has been loosing its adherents for years and disillusioned scientists strive for an alternative explanation of the process
The dissonance experienced by scientists as they try to reconcile the flawed theories of gravity with what they know is their hearts as the truth ,has led to many scientists renouncing their profession and seeking enlightenminet on lonely mountains instead
This new theory was immediatly accepted in the scientific community with wa
Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears
His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they
Now this looks like an unusual hazard on the golf course
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens
Look what it has done to me Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over"
The old rooster says, "I tell you what young stud, I will race you around the farmhouse Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire
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