An Asian man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen He receives $7200 in American currency The following week, the same Asian man walks into the same currency exchange He again exchanges 2000 yen This time, he receives $6600 in American currency The Asian man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen"
The clerk replies, "Fluctuations" As the Asian man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and
Bidding is only up to $450!
Great comments below :
This poster should branch out and start a new business!
Or maybe with the topic he should leaf it alone
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife the dear purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try
Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Vanessa, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear My wife seemed pl
Okay, it's really kinda dumb but it made me laugh
Things you don't want to hear during surgery
Better save that We'll need it for the autopsy
Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that
Hand me thatuhthat uhthingie
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before
Shoot, there go the lights again
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super Bowl
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket" asks one of the men
"Watch and learn," answers one of the women
They all board the train The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door
Shortly after the train has departed, the c
After the furore over Alexander the Great being gay, I thought this joke was appropriate
A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum"
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire"
And so on and so on -- and then the Greek says:
"We invented sex"
The Italian says:
"That may be true, but it
"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings" —George W Bush, Fort Belvoir, Va, Dec 10, 2004
"Justice ought to be fair" —George W Bush, speaking at the White House Economic Conference, Washington, DC, Dec 15, 2004
"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man, you're looking pretty" —
WE, the People of the broad, brown land of Oz, wish to be recognised as a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional trannie
We come from many lands although a few too many of us come from New Zealand and, although we live in the best little country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like
We are One Nation but we're divided into many States
First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians Victoria
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven When they get there, St Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one
Along comes St Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw St Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment
1 It's an incentive to show up
2 It leads to more honest communications
3 It reduces complaints about low pay
4 Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear
5 It encourages car pooling
6 Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care
7 It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work
8 It makes fellow employees look better
9 It makes the cafeteria food taste better
10 Bosses are mor
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said "A penny for your thoughts, Angus"
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss"
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek Then he blushed The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again "Anot
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up
After approx15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts She repeats this gesture about eight times
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of
Ed finally decides to take a vacation He books himself on a Caribbea cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat sinks He finds himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing Only bananas and coconuts to eat
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from How did you get here" "I rowed from the other
Darwin Award Nominees
> > Hard to believe, but another year has passed Once again, it's time for
> > Darwin Award Nominees The Darwin's are awarded every year to the
> > who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the
> > gene pool This year's nine nominees are:
> > Nominee No 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
> > An unidentified man, using a shotgu
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