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Michael Jackson jokes!

Police who raided Michael Jackson's ranch found class A drugs in the Kitchen,class B drugs in the living room and class 3 Santa Barbera Kindergarten in the bedroom -------------------------- What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common Both have boys' underpants half off -------------------------- Whats brown and often found in childrens underwear Michael Jacksons hand ------------------------------ How do you know when it's bedtime in Michae

A to Z of rugby

http://sportguardiancouk/rugbyworldcup2003/story/0,13904,1054879,00html A is for All Blacks New Zealand is notable for two things: sheep and having the best, most fearsome rugby team in the world They won the inaugural world cup in 1987 and have been close in the three since Rugby has been played in New Zealand since 1870 and the All Blacks first played arch-rivals Australia 100 years ago New Zealanders are tough as teak, densely muscled and bear-like - and that's just the playe

Killer on the loose!!

A Winnipeg man was found dead in his home over the weekend Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub The tub had been filled with milk, sugar and cornflakes A banana was sticking out of his ass Police suspect a cereal killer

Bible Translated Into Aussie Slang

heh check this out mate, Jesus might have been the son of God but he was also a top bloke who threw ripper barbies, according to a version of the Bible released Thursday that translates the Christian holy book into Australian slang In the Aussie Bible the Virgin Mary is "a pretty special sheila" who gets knocked up with the Big Boss' son wraps him in a bunny rug and tucks him up in a feed trough in the back shed because the local pub is full to bursting Author Kel Ri

Saddam Hussains family!

Now that Uday & Ousay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known family members are coming to the attention of the American authorities Among the brothers: Sooflaythe restauranteur Gudaythe half-Australianbrother Huray the sports fanatic Bejaythe gay brother Kuntay & Kintaythe twins from the African mother Ojaythe stalker/

What do you call 15 australians ...

What do you call 15 australians watching the World Cup rugby final The Wallabies! :

Dead Horses in the Public Service

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount In the Public Service, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies is often employed, such as : [list] []Change riders []Buy a stronger whip []Do nothing: "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses" []Visit other countries to see how they ride dead horses []Perform a productivity

NZ hit by earthquake!

A major earthquake, measuring 91 on the Richter Scale has hit New Zealand this morning 350,000 New Zealanders are missing, and over 100,000 have been reported injured The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing assistance The rest of the world is in shock: Canada is sending troops to assist the country The USA is sending food, medical aid and money France is sending doctors, nurses and medical supplies Russia is sending te

History according to kids

The following "history" has been pasted together from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States from eighth grade through to college level Read carefully and you will learn a lot __________________________________________________________________ The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called Mummies They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewh

The God survey

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage In order to better serve your Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions [b]1 How did you find out about your deity[/b] __ Newspaper __ Bible __ Torah __ Television __ Book of Mormon __ Divine Inspiration __ Dead Sea Scrolls __ My Mama Done Tol' Me __ Near Death

Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn

1 The bandage was wound around the wound 2 The farm was used to produce produce 3 The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse 4 We must polish the Polish furniture 5 He could lead if he would get the lead out 6 The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert 7 Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present 8 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum 9 When shot at, the dove dove

American History for dummies

American History 101 It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history "Who said, 'Give me Liberty or give me Death' " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki's "Patrick Henry 1775," he said "Very good! Who said 'government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not p

Humor: add your jokes to this thread ...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead break out of jail and run to an old abandoned farm The police are hot on their trail The three women hide up in three different oak trees The police go up to the redhead's tree when they hear rustling "Who's up there'" "Meow", the redhead replies "Oh! its just a cat" think the policeman The police go up to the brunette's tree "Who's up there" "Hoot, Hoot"

Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows You keep one and give one to your neighbor A SOCIALIST: You have two cows The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows Your neighbor has none So what AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows Your neighbor has none You feel guilty for being successful You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax The people you voted for then take t

Great and mysterious rules of life

1 Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas 3 The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right" 4 Everyone seems normal until you get to know them 5 When you make a mistake, make amends immediately It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm 6 The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7 If he/she says that you are too good fo
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