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Tourette syndrome Barbie (c)

Barbie rock ! http://wwwrock103com/crew/asheard/crewAsHeardPage=t-barbiehtml

The new Ark

So one day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah, I want you to build another Ark, but this time I don't just want a couple of decks - I want 20 decks, one on top of the other" "Twenty decks!", screams Noah, "Well, OK, whatever you say Should I fill it with all the animals, just like last time" "No, this time I just want fish carp to be exact", answers God Noah looks to the skies, "OK, God, let me get this right

What the doctor says and means

[b]What the Doctor says[/b] [b]"This should be taken care of right away"[/b] "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself" [b]"Welllllll, what have we here"[/b] Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue [b]"We'll see"[/b] "First I have to check my malpractice insurance" [

Signs of old age

I liked this list, there are really some truisms here! 1 Your potted plants are alive and you can't smoke one of them 2 Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd 3 You keep more food than beer in the fridge 4 6:00 AM is when you get up, not go to sleep 5 You hear your favorite song on an elevator 6 You carry an umbrella, you watch the weather channel 7 Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up 8 You go from 130 days of vacation tim

New Zealand goes to war....

Picture Saddam Hussein sitting in his office contemplating the current crisis and drinking coffee His phone rings… "Kia Ora", would that be Saddam Hussein" "Hello, yes, this is Saddam speaking, who is this and what do you want" "Well now Saddam this is Rangi, and I'm ringing from the Lonely Arms Pub in Auckland, New Zealand, to tell you that we are officially declaring war on you" "Well, Rangi," Saddam replied, "This is indee

Company Christmas Party

Subject: Company Christmas Party December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols feel free to singalong And don't be surprised if the boss shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be ove

The madness of NCEA - a plumber in New Zeaalnd

In the house of Fred Dagg, a water pipe bursts and the water is leaking along the wall, through the floor, into the basement and disappears underneath the house Fred senior rings the plumber as soon as he realizes the problem Three hours later the plumber arrives As he was trained in technology according to the NCEA in a New Zealand secondary school, he notices instantly what the issue is: “The pipe is broken and water is leaking out”, he explains Not to lose any time he instantly p

Adam and Eve jokes

God went down to Eden to see how Adam was getting on "What do you think of life Adam"said God "Well"said Adam"It's quite hard work and a little boring and,well,just a little lonely too" "Don't worry"declared God"I've been working on a solution to all these problemsI'm going to create a WomanShe'll wash and cook for you and she'll have sex with you whenever you wantInfact she'll do everything you can imagine" "That sounds great" said Adam"but how much will t

Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch

Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch - on restaraunt menu! http://wwwprojocom/eastbay/content/projo_20020808_blgoff896e74html It was just a joke -- a harmless way, Steve Cleary said, to tease his wait staff Cleary didn't even make up the line, he argued It's based on a story from his childhood, he said But a woman with a daughter with Down syndrome and a neuro- degenerative disease didn't think it was funny Claire Canning, of Portsmouth, was offended
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