The greatest Christian jokes of all time

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The greatest Christian jokes of all time

Well this is debatable, but according to Times online more than 4,000 people voted on 700 religious jokes sent in to the satirical Christian website ShipofFools. These were the best (of the cleanest I gather)

WALKING across a bridge, I saw a man on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: “Stop. Don’t do it.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Well, there’s so much to live for!”
“Like what?”
“Are you religious?”
He said: “Yes.”
I said: “Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?”
“Christian.”
“Me, too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
“Protestant.”
“Me, too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”
“Baptist.”
“Me, too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Church of the Lord?”
“Baptist Church of God.”
“Me, too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of God.”
“Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?”
He said: “Reformation of 1915.”

I said: “Die, heretic scum,” and pushed him off.

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JESUS came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death. Jesus said: “Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone.”

An old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The young lady collapsed dead.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: “Do you know, mother, sometimes you really p*** me off.”
By netchicken: posted on 10-9-2005

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them: "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."

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St Peter decides to take the day off to go fishing, so Jesus offers to keep an eye on the Pearly Gates. He is not sure what to do, so Peter tells him to find out a bit about people as they arrive in Heaven, and this will help him decide if he can let them in.

After a while, Jesus sees a little old man with white hair approaching who looks very, very familiar. He asks the old man to tell him about himself. The old man says, "I had a very sad life. I was a carpenter and had a son who I lost at a relatively young age, and although he was not my natural child, I loved him dearly."

Jesus welled up with emotion. He threw his arms around the old man and cried, "Daddy!"

The old man replied, "Pinocchio?"

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The Trinity were planning a holiday. The Spirit, manifesting the creative part of the divine nature, was coming up with the ideas. "Let's go to New York," he suggested.

"No, no, no," said the Father, "They're all so liberated, they'll spend the whole time calling me 'Mother' and it will just do my head in."

So the Spirit sat back and thought. "I know, what about Jerusalem?" he said. "It's beautiful and then there's the history and everything."

"No way!" the Son declared. "After what happened the last time, I'm never going there again!"

At this point, the Spirit got annoyed and went off in a huff. Sometime later he returned and found that the Father and Son had had a idea they both thought was excellent:

"Why don't we go to Rome?" said the Son.

"Perfect!" cried the Holy Spirit. "I've never been there before!"

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Here is the originating website with the top jokes
 http://shipoffools.com/Feat...

and here for all
 http://forum.ship-of-fools....
By netchicken: posted on 10-9-2005








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