Irish Jokes!

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Shayne had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the

Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight,

Shayne replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Shayne spins around
on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shite" he
says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He looks
to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the
door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door
and shimmies up the doorframe. He sticks his head outside and takes a
deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto
the sidewalk.

He falls flat on his face.

"I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors
down,and crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe, opens the
door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No
fockin' way".

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it
to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Mary, comes into the room carrying a cup
of coffee and says, "Get up Shayne. Did you have a bit to drink last

Shayne says, "I did Mary. I was fockin' p!ssed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub again!"
By netchicken: posted on 18-11-2002

The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added," Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it."

With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked 6 months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it."

The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it."
By William One Sac: posted on 19-11-2002

LOL I love it.. :)

Great joke :)
By netchicken: posted on 20-11-2002

By max: posted on 5-11-2004

By max: posted on 5-11-2004

lol, the irish joke is great.
By parrhesia: posted on 5-11-2004

heh. funny. i like.
By Insane_Lemmings: posted on 8-11-2004

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