Bagpipe jokes

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Bagpipe jokes

Q. How do you get two bagpipers to play in perfect tune?
A. Shoot one.
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
Q. What's the definition of a Scots gentleman?
A. One who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.
Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.
Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.
Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. To get away from the sound.
Q. What's the definition of "optimism"
A. A bagpiper with a beeper.
By netchicken: posted on 10-4-2006

The Scottish Student

A student at an English university, by name of Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye, who was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. After he had been there for a month, his mother came to visit, no doubt carrying reinforcements of oatmeal.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?"
she asked."Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible noisy people! The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night!"

"Oh, Donald! How ever do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?" "Mother, I do nothing, I just ignore them! I just stay here quietly playing my bagpipes!"
By StevanHogg: posted on 16-4-2006

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