Signs of old age

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Signs of old age

I liked this list, there are really some truisms here!


1. Your potted plants are alive and you can't smoke one of them.

2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not go to sleep.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You carry an umbrella, you watch the weather channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time a year to 10.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.

10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down their stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

17. Dinner and a movie-the whole date instead of just the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drugstore for Advil & Rolaids, not condoms & pregnancy test kits.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer ''pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink anymore" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read this entire list in the hopes of finding one sign that doesn't apply to you!!!
By netchicken: posted on 20-5-2003








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