A collection of Doctor jokes

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A collection of Doctor jokes

I recently picked a new primary healthcare physician, and after two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well for my age". A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him: "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" In response, he asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing either."
Then he asked: "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbequed ribs?"
I said, "no, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Well" he asked, "do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." He looked at me and said:

"Then why do you give a damn if you live to be 80 or not?"


A woman went to the local Medical Centre where she was seen by one of the younger doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out of the room screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was and when she calmed down, she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

He then marched down the hallway to the back where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard. "What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Reid is 69 years old, has four grown children, seven grandchildren and four great-grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "But does she still have the hiccups?"
By netchicken: posted on 14-8-2006

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