Preaching to a bear - and other religious jokes

      Home » Humor & Funny videos » Preaching to a bear - and other religious jokes
More Humor and Fun

Preaching to a bear - and other religious jokes

Heres a bunch of religious jokes, enjoy :)


A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the same Canadian University and they would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all that hard, and a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
... Quote:
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.

So I quickly grabbed me holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."


Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed,
... Quote:
"WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear, he wanted NOTHING to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTISED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."


They both looked down at the rabbi, who was wheeled in lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape and barely conscious.

The rabbi looks up and whispers, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
By netchicken: posted on 6-2-2007

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
By netchicken: posted on 6-2-2007








Preaching to a bear - and other religious jokes | [Login ]
Powered by XMB
Privacy Policy