Want a different holiday? Go on a Somali pirate cruise

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Want a different holiday? Go on a Somali pirate cruise

For the gun nut who has done everything, join a cruise to sunny Somalia and see how many pirates you can take out.

The Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania).

The trip includes a master gunsmith and will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as optional marksmanship training.

The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). If you don't have your own high powered weapons you can hire them on the boat.

The cruise boat sails along the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.

*$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)

*M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95

*Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at 14.95

*Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at 9.95

*Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

*RPG’s at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads

*“Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am.”

*Most cruises offer a mini-bar and this cruise offers a MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire”

“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included).

How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.

At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.”

As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials

*“I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I’ll never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!”---- Lars, Hamburg, Germany

*“Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES 0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English” - Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

*“I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim—reminds me of a drunken ‘juicer’ door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam”—“chopper’ Dan ----Toledo USA.

*“Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do! – Zeke, Minnahaw Springs, Kentucky, USA

Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem. These folks deserve a medal!

By netchicken: posted on 4-5-2009

:sh that is a good read. hahaha!!!!! i want to make a cruse like that now. instead of the Disney Cruses, it would be Disney GunBoat.
By tastycakes: posted on 6-5-2009

Heck, sounds like a fun time to me... rpg's you say?
By peregrine: posted on 19-6-2009

What was a joke has now appeared on Annova as a serious article! Unless someone thought it actually was a good idea ....

Luxury yachts offer pirate hunting cruises

Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast.

Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

The yachts travel from Djibouti in Somalia to Mombasa in Kenya.

The ships deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of just five nautical miles in an attempt to attract the interest of pirates.

"They are worse than the pirates," said Russian yachtsman Vladimir Mironov. "At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages, these people are just paying to commit murder," he continued.

By netchicken: posted on 25-6-2009

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