World War 2 - an unusual definition - funny

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World War 2 - an unusual definition - funny

Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
"Some of the World War II guys in 'Call of Duty' have, like, foreign accents... what's up with that?"

By netchicken: posted on 23-7-2009

Rofl, I love it. America was all for "Isolationism" right up until the war touched their lawn, then all hell broke loose, we invaded Europe, and we vaporized two cities. Now it's happened again, as if the world hasn't learned that F***ing with America is a bad move, and we're stomping some mud holes across the middle east. If they can't keep their terrorist parties in check themselves, we'll do it for them, and they may not like our methods.

Still, as much as people gripe about our meddling in international affairs, they can't seem to get us to do anything about all the other military problems in the world. I can tell you how. Stage an attack from the organization of your choice on America, then watch the fireworks. Well, I take that back, that would have worked when we weren't all pansies and actually defended ourselves, now we'll probably just bend over an take it. Can't say as to how much I like this policy, but hey... America's big. I probably won't be effected.

That's it. And all those European idiots (especially the French) who say Americans are full of themselves are hypocrites. Besides, we can back it up.
By peregrine: posted on 23-7-2009

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