Random Internationalish Jokes!

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Random Internationalish Jokes!

An American astronaut has an emergency during his re-entry
into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash-lands in
the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere.

After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush
clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is
bandaged from head to foot. He sees a very large, somewhat
gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.

"Did I come here to die?" he asks with a deep sense of
resignation and fear.

"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yesterday."


A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving
in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer,
"What is your business in Australia?"

"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.

The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction

Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still
needed one."


Barbara Walters filed a report on gender roles in Kuwait a
few years prior to the Gulf War, and noted then that, in
traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked about
10 feet behind their husbands.

Recently, Barbara returned to Kuwait and observed that the
MEN now walked several yards behind their wives.

She approached one of the Kuwaiti women for an explanation.

"This is marvelous," Barbara said. "What enabled women here
to achieve this reversal of roles?"

The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines."


An american, a russian, and a dane was discussing the
differences between their countries. Pretty soon the general
talking turned into general bragging about how terrific their
respective countries where.

The Russian said, "Our navy is so big, that if we all sailed
out at once, it would cover every ocean in the world."

The American, not wanting to let the Russian get the better
of him, continued, "Well, our Air Force is so big that if all
of our planes took off at once we could cover the sky all
over the world."

The Dane thought for a while then said: "I once new a guy in
Odense whose penis was so long that 17 parrots could sit on it
at once."

They stood for a while not saying anything, until the
Russian decided he might modify his bold statement a bit,
"Well maybe the ships wouldn't cover ALL of the ocean."

The American, feeling the need for honesty as well said,
"Well, maybe the planes wouldn't cover all of the sky either
I guess."

The Dane stood there for a while thinking, and finally said,
"Well, in all honesty the guy I knew might have lived a bit
outside Odense actually."
By Insane_Lemmings: posted on 13-11-2004

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