This year\'s Darwin Awards

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This year's Darwin Awards

Darwin Award Nominees
> >
> >
> >
> > Hard to believe, but another year has passed. Once again, it's time for
> the
> > Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwin's are awarded every year to the
persons
> > who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the
> > gene pool. This year's nine nominees are:
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
> > An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
> > girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
> > discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
> > James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he
was
> > trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got
a
> > friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so
that
> > he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes
caught
> > on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the
drive
> > shaft."
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
> > Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in
> > Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his
bed,
> > he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38
Special,
> > which discharged when he drew it to his ear. (For whatever reason,
> > residents of Southern states always seem to figure prominently among the
> > Darwin nominees.)
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
> > Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
> > Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24
> > floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
the
> > courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he
> was
> > explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law
> students.
> > Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according
> to
> > police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day,
> told
> > the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"
> > members of the 200-man association. (Nice to see another Canadian
> province
> > getting into the awards.... The Maritimes always have been heavily
> > involved.)
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]:
> > A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the
> > death of a man who was killed by his own gas emissions. There was no
mark
> > on his body, and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his
> > system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a
> couple
> > of other things).
> > It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man
died
> in
> > his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his
> bed.
> > Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have
been
> > fatal. But the man was shut up in his nearly airtight bedroom.
According
> > to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating
"this
> > deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick, and one was hospitalized.
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]:
> > Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent
> > several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
> > conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison While
> > sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV
set,
> he
> > bit into a wire and was electrocuted. (South Carolina entrants are
always
> > perennial favorites.)
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]:
> > A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN.
> A
> > Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
muzzle
> > loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face,
> > sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his
> parents'
> > rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was
> cleaning
> > a 54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was
using
> > the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
> >
> >
> >
> > Nominee No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
> > A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment
> in
> > this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan
> Macko,
> > 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said
> > Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that
the
> > chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
> > (Another Ontario entry.... I wonder if people are moving there from the
> > Maritime Provinces.)
> >
> >
> >
> > Finally, Just One More [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
> > Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
> struck
> > a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff
> County
> > deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
> > Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little
Rock,
> > were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip on an overcast
Sunday
> > night when Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
> > The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck
had
> > burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed
that
> > the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box
> next
> > to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights
> > again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound
> > toward the White River Bridge.
> >
> >
> >
> > After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the
> river,
> > the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the
> > testicles.
> >
> >
> >
> > The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a
> > tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident,
but
> > will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles,
> which
> > will never operate as intended.
> > Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
> >
> >
> >
> > "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off,
or
> we
> > might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years
in
> > this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe
that
> > those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
> > Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many
> > frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
> >
> >
> >
> > (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure
as
> > normally required, their story was included as Honorable Mention)
By NewsMom: posted on 2-12-2004








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