25 Christmas Ideas to Torture Your Roommate

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25 Christmas Ideas to Torture Your Roommate


  • Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.
  • Go to the mall with your roomate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
  • Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
  • Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
  • Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roomate enters or leaves the room, plant a big wet one on his/her lips.
  • Hang a stocking with your roomates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."
  • Paint your nose red and wear antlers.
  • Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
  • Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (i.e., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistle-toe last night.")
  • Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
  • Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roomate's two front teeth..."
  • Give your roomate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
  • Build a snowperson with your roomate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically "it didn't work!"
  • Whip your roomate screaming "now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc."
  • Tear down all your roomate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"
  • Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!" (The Lords Of Darkness apply here too...)
  • Tell your roomate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.
  • Pin a pointsetta to your lapel.
  • Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
  • Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roomate's friends "give it a yank."
  • Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets his/her wings."
  • Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over in your underwear.
  • Smoke mistle-toe. Do what comes naturaly.
  • Watch your roomate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "he sees you when you're sleeping..."
  • Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."
  • When your roomate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her posessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.
By netchicken: posted on 16-12-2002








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